So today I had to wake up super early and go to school to get me some classes. Enlisting in those classes though is hard, like butt-wipe hard.
But before I could go and experience this butt-wipe hard enlisting I had to settle my accountabilities. I actually only had one but they wanted a lot of things before that. It's because I don't have a Philippine issued birth certificate, so I have all these papers that say I am a Filipino and yes I exist. So I popped right on down to the Office of Admissions and showed them my "I Exist Therefore I Can Enroll Certificate" and poof I was eligible.
After that I had to go line up at the Biology Pavilion because ta-dee-fucking-dah I didn't have a major ergo I needed to get one. So there I am walking, it's a beautiful day and I'm minding my own business already composing a mental to-do list. It was still really early though so no one else was walking with me on that sidewalk, just me and a bunch of illegally parked cars. I'm walking and I see one of the empty cars has its window way open so immediately I think "poor guy's gonna get robbed". But I keep walking and when I pass the car, I see out of my peripheral vision that there's a man in the car. He was lying down and masturbating.
He was masturbating.
In an untinted car.
With the window open.
On school campus.
And because I have no idea what the potatoes I was supposed to do I just kept on walking and reached the Biology Pavilion. I think I was so shell-shocked that I had to look around and only then did I realize I was already where I wanted to go. Then because I was scarred for life my brain supplied encouraging thoughts.
The building is named LLAMAS HALL. Like llamas, llamas. I then spent the next two minutes laughing about llamas.
