Saturday, February 11, 2012

Stupid Imaginary Conversations

I've just read something from two to three years ago. I never knew that's what was happening to you. I never knew because I never really went beyond my phone and its capabilities. I chose to kept my life as simple as possible, so I never knew what you were saying, wishing, or hoping for. You weren't all that brave. You started it, ended it, and snatched whatever wholeness I had around a year ago. And you wished you could take it all back, but you didn't.

You didn't.

And now I'm happier, as whole as I can be after everything. It's strange for me to have you two talking about me behind my back, but I can't control him, he has the right to do what he wants. And yet I can't help but still think about it, and I don't think it's ever gonna go away. Not until I get used to you again as my best friend.

You were one of my best friends. And yeah four out of five isn't as fun.

And as your best friend I will always wish for your happiness. Always. And you will probably be my biggest what if.

And because you or anybody else is ever gonna find this, I just wanted to say that I missed you everyday you didn't put things right. And that if I was raised to be American, I would chase after you, even after all that, just to hear you tell me you love me again.

This is retarded

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